Relationships are the backbone of not only our human race, but even more so the church. Jesus taught that the greatest commandment is to love God, and then love our neighbor (Matt 22:37-39), and that when we love one another, people will know that we’re followers of Christ (John 13:34-35).
Sure, thats the target, but in reality, relationships can get messy. We experience disagreements, conflict, misunderstanding, miscommunication, and the next thing you know, we’re divided. The wisest man that ever lived said. "An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city.” (Prov 18:19) Perhaps you’re not in conflict right now, but chances are at some point you will be, and the best way to deal with conflict is found in God’s word:
James 1:19 You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
In other words, if conflict begins to brew, go SLOWMO! Rather than jumping in and defending yourself, take time to listen to what the other person has to say. Check out these three verses from Proverbs 18:
Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. Prov 18:2
In other words, when we’re quick to open our mouths, often what comes out is our own opinion, which is usually biased to our own cause. And the more we say, the worse it can get...
The mouths of fools are their ruin; they trap themselves with their lips. Prov 18:7
Have you ever been in a heated discussion, and said things you regretted? I know I have, and I’ve learned that some things cannot be unsaid. Once those words come out, the damage is done. I’ve learned it’s better to say nothing than to say something that I’ll regret later.
Rather than rushing to defend a position, a wise person will seek to listen, and discern the heart of the other person...
Intelligent people are always ready to learn. Their ears are open for knowledge. Prov 18:15
Learning what the other person is feeling and thinking isn’t always easy. It takes time to ask the right questions, listen to what they have to say, pray about what they said, and seek to discern where their heart is. But I’ve found that if I’ll focus my efforts on seeking to learn where the other person is coming from, rather than defending my own position, eventually I’ll begin to understand them, and it’ll help me bring reconciliation to the relationship.
Yes, there are times when we're not just not going to see eye-to-eye. But even in that situation, it’s better if I walk away without blood on my hands. We can agree to disagree with our testimony and our integrity intact, which leaves the door open to reconciliation at a later date.
Pastor Clay
No comments:
Post a Comment